doctor-stein:

I’m probably going to avoid posting too much sexuality/rant/personal type stuff on this blog, but I was perusing the #asexual tag and among the massive crap storm going on on Tumblr, I happened across this video and felt the need to share and spread a little awareness.  While a bit crass, this girl is great, and so confident to confront these questions in a posted video like that. I’ve heard and seen most of those questions many times;  those are the things real people tend to assume about asexuals, constantly, even the horrible stuff at the end.

I honestly don’t see how difficult a concept it is for some people to grasp or why it’s such a big deal. We’re not broken and we certainly don’t need random strangers to try and ‘fix’ us.

I really resonate with the experience of having people try to “fix” you. Due to my lack of interest in romantic relationships, I was suspected to be Asperger’s-positive and a sociopath for most of my young life.  I have heard people’s concern for my mental well-being enough times that, for a while, I  began to believe people’s concerns were founded in logic rather than ignorance. As a result, I paid for counseling sessions trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me, believing I was a monster incapable of feeling love.  

 People need to realize that trying to “fix” people and comments like the ones posed in this video can be detrimental to people who haven’t established their own identities yet. This woman is a confident, assertive, and smart individual who knows better than to let people walk all over her and tell her what she is. Others are not as prepared as her and may spend their time worrying about something that isn’t even there. 

While watching this video, it was hard not to notice how often hormones were mentioned. Even if I am not completely open about my sexuality in public, the fact that I come across as having no interest in sex tends to get me the hormone question a lot, just like the girl in this video. This especially comes from nurses who can’t believe that I am not considering any sexual activity in the future. It’s ironic how a nurse would worry about someone not engaging in the risk of getting general herpes. Maybe it has something to do with the price of an anti-STD shot.

 People also seem to assume that asexuality is a disability, both physical and mental. I find it interesting how people equate mental disability with an inability to have sex and vice versa. There are many people with mental disorders with sexual partners, including those that are autistic like the people mentioned in the comments. There are also many asexuals without any kind of mental disorder, myself not included.

Continuing across her bingo card, I’ve also gotten the “You haven’t met the right guy yet” from members of my family, probably out of a concern for my future happiness. This could tie into an entirely new spiel on gender expectations, but I will save that for another post.

While I am still young and haven’t been asked all of the questions on the card, I’m sure that time will ensure I hear them all at least once. I take my hat off to all the people ahead of me on filling their cards. Keep on winning.